The Power of "No"

by Deborah Gill-Hesselgrave

I was reminded again today that sometimes success comes from saying no, not yes.

Some years ago, I was facing extreme burnout due to all the obligations to which I had committed myself and my team. As I was teetering on the edge of sanity (and my team was plotting my demise), I realized that I actually had the power to say, "No."

The full telling of this realization will take longer than the event itself, so here is the Cliff's Notes version:

My project board was booked for 3 months solid. My team was working extended hours. I was picking up overflow, doing "special" projects for major stakeholders, and project managing all of the above. The catalyst for change occurred when one of my clients, who is also a key influencer in my professional world, called about a new project. Because he had worked with me steadily over the years, he simply launched into a description of what he needed and when he needed it.

Before my revelation, I would have taken down the details he was providing me and begun the process of fully assessing his project, scheduling it, and figuring out who was going to do what. This time, after he was done telling me what he wanted me to know, I gently explained that I wouldn't be able to even begin thinking about his project for at least 2 weeks, and without breaking stride, I offered to reserve a kickoff date that was nearly a month away, explaining that this was the earliest I'd have staff available for him. Of course, I made sure to mention that if his need was immediate and mission-critical, I'd be happy to help him find another consultant to work with him that time.

It wasn't until after he responded to what was essentially a "no" message that I realized how fearful I had been of telling him that I couldn't just hop to it as I had in the past. As it turned out, he actually appreciated having me tell him that we wouldn't be able to take on his project right then and there. Some months later, during the project post mortem, he confided that how I had handled (temporarily) "denying" him his request had increased his appreciation of me and how I did business. (He mentioned stuff like honesty and integrity and tellin' it like it is . . . which I guess I do.)

Henceforth, I have relied on the power of no to help me balance my professional and personal lives and to make sure that I am saving my yeses for important, not just urgent, endeavors.

Back to today's reminder: A professional acquaintance informed me that she was resigning a volunteer job, albeit an extremely important and high-profile one, because she realized that she could not do it justice and maintain the level of quality, professionalism, and integrity in her other endeavors. Guess what? That gal is on my short list of people to call when I need a professional resource from her practice area. I know she will only accept a project that she knows she can do and do well because she knows the power of no.

If you have questions about being an independent consultant or how to perform as though you are a consultant, e-mail me at thinking@dghenterprise.com. I will share your questions and my answers in a future column. Until next issue, take care!

*Note: This column originally appeared in the April 2005 edition of Signature.