The "Dear Abby" of the technical communication world, Tek Wright dispenses valuable advice about the interpersonal conflicts felt by those who work in the technical communication field. Tek understands your frustrations of office relationships, computer interactions, and everyday emotions and feelings. Tek can't help you format a word doc, but Tek can help you dispense the stress built up from forcing Word to do your bidding.
Dear Tek:
I work with an impossible individual. You know the type—pushy, overbearing, always right, unbending. This type insists on their own way and is cooperative only if it serves their purpose—an all-around annoying person. To make matters worse, while they annoy the dickens out of me, they do their job perfectly.
What can I do to make this person see that their unsolicited advice and constant negative attitude make me want to quit my job?
Thank you,
Can't-get-my-work-done-as-I-am-too-busy-fuming-over-what-my-co-worker-just-said
Dear Fuming:
Having a problem communicating with a co-worker can make every day in the office a battle. The ability to get along with people and adapt to different personalities and types of people we encounter are key components to survival in any environment.
While rising to the continual challenge of getting along can take its toll on you, don't quit your job just yet, as there are solutions. Also, while we are all grown up now, not all of us are mature. Getting help (such as from HR or your manager) with the situation may not always be an option, so you must find your own solutions.
I offer these solutions that help in all kinds of situations—not just work—at home, at church, where you volunteer, in the supermarket line, or even on the highway.
- Always treat others as you would like to be treated: in other words, don't stoop to their level regardless of how mad you get.
- Be polite; say thank you even if the advice is unsolicited.
- Try to understand where the person is coming from, and acknowledge it: if you are able to, remove yourself from their issue—after all, it isn’t your problem that they are having a problem. But they feel that something you did is making their problem worse. Don't apologize for their problem, but say something like "I understand your concern about the project, but . . . ."
- Gather the courage to confront the person with constructive criticism: let them know that you don't appreciate the way they treat you, and ask if there is a problem. More often than not, they don't even realize their own behavior. After clearing the air, you will both feel better. By the way, do this in private; it is not a time to be a drama queen.
- Check your own attitude: with a few minor changes to your own reaction (yes, reaction), you can accept the situation without becoming angry.
Yours,
Tek Wright
